Countdown to Freedom

Not a smiling face in sight

In 7 days time my final course work deadline expires and I unofficially finish my BA Film degree. I’m assuming I will pass but that is by no means a certainty. This time last year I was told that I didn”t belong and that failing me would me filling out more forms and they couldn’t be bothered to do that. (I think the fact that they get £7000 per year from the Jersey government to ‘teach’ me also helped my cause.) So I’m hoping that to fail at this point would adversely affect their hit rate and that I’m fairly safe.

But should you, like my own mother, still be in any doubt about the situation I’ve been in over the last 3 years here’s a bit of terrifyingly amusing evidence. I know full well that at times I’m prone to exaggeration or even histrionics of near Cochranian proportions but when last month my mum asked why I don’t use the studio at college to make some films or shows I was shocked and disappointed.

I thought I made it clear to everyone over the last three years – the Arts Institute at Bournemouth is a terrible place to be. There are some deeply troubled people here. Somewhere, at any given time on the premises someone is crying. There is no hope. There is only fear. Fear runs through the entire building like blood. (The aren’t even any emo kids here!)

So here’s is my evidence. I’d come to accept it by the end of the first year but I thought you’d enjoy seeing how ridiculous it looks from the point of view of a real world mentality. Remember theses guides apply not only to hiring out an entire studio but also a single microphone or even just a light.

The following process has been implemented to enable requests for Personal Production work to be considered and managed fairly and effectively.

To receive approval to borrow Institute equipment for Personal Productions the following process must be observed:

• Completed Personal Production Information forms must first be approved by the Course Leader.
• A complete list of all equipment being requested must be included with your forms.*
• Approved forms should be handed to a member of Technical staff.
• Upon receipt, forms will be dated and the submission time indicated. They will then be placed in the Personal Productions box.
• Technical staff will meet each Friday at 10am to consider each request in order of hand-in. These meetings will be held during term time only.
• Successful requests will be announced during the Monday morning Production Meetings.
• Unsuccessful requests will be discussed with students after the Production Meetings.
• No submissions will normally be refused. However, dates and equipment indicated are requests only. Some negotiation may be necessary, particularly at busy periods, to enable the workload to be managed.
• At particularly busy periods, during the production of Graduation Films for example, Personal Productions may be temporarily suspended.
• Forms submitted after 10am on Friday will not be considered until the following Friday meeting.
• Only a limited number of requests will be approved for any given time period. If too many requests are submitted for simultaneous production, decisions will be based on a first come first served basis as per hand-in date and time.
• Meetings to discuss Personal Productions will be held during term time only. Any requests for borrowing during holiday periods must be submitted before 10am on the Friday the week before the last week of term. Any requests for the first week of a new term must be submitted for the meeting held during the final week of the previous term.
• No Personal Production will be approved for dates extending beyond the end of the Summer Term.

*forms include: written permission from the owner of where and filming or recording will take place (the local council in the case of public land e.g. streets), maps including fire exits and toilets, a three page safety questionnaire, fully annotated crew manifests plus much much more.

All that even if you just want to borrow a 50quid mic.

Incredible but rather sad. And I’m told very common. It surprises me that Virginia Tech style incidents aren’t far more common. It wouldn’t surprise me if one happened right here in Bournemouth.

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